


Scars

by De_Marvel_Bunny



Series: Whumptober 2019 [11]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 16:37:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20979032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/De_Marvel_Bunny/pseuds/De_Marvel_Bunny
Summary: Prompt: "Scars and Tony feeling like he isn't beautiful"So I wrote exactly that.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kcusllay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcusllay/gifts), [The_Sad_Fangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sad_Fangirl/gifts).

> Trigger Warning: self-hatred
> 
> Don't worry, it has a happy ending ;)

"Honey, are you coming?" Steve called from the hallway.

"Yeah, gimme a sec," Tony answered as he straightened his tie in the full-length mirror. He cringed at his reflection. This just wouldn't do. Quickly, he took off his jacket, tie, and blouse, rummaging in his closet for a better suit. Once he found one he was satisfied with, he walked back to put his clothes on the bed. Turning around, he froze at his reflection.

He raised a hand to his chest, fingers idly tracing the big, ugly scar on his chest from where his arc reactor used to be, following the lines emitting from that center circle. He lowered his hand to a stab wound just underneath his chest, between his ribs, then down to several bullet wounds on his abdomen. Tony turned around slightly to see his back, wincing at the scars littered all over. He sighed, looking down at his even more battered hands. They were rough from labor, his fingers not entirely straight anymore. He'd broken several, and multiple times. They were ugly, he realized.

_He_ was ugly.

_No,_ he scolded himself. _No, don't think like that. I'm not. I'm not ugly, I'm-_

What was he? Beautiful, like Steve told him so many times? Handsome, as the papers described him?

But as he looked in the mirror, that's not what he saw. What _he_ saw were scars, old and new, each with their own depressing story. His ribs were awfully prominent and even though he was muscular enough, he knew he was too skinny. Tony felt the tears burn in his eyes as he stared at himself. How could anyone ever love someone like _him_? He was damaged, broken even. Broken things couldn't be fixed- he was a mechanic. He knew that better than anyone. Dents could be hammered out, damages could be fixed. But what was broken was just... _broken_.

The room spun around him, his breath coming in gasps. His limbs felt like lead but his head felt too light. His knees buckled and he crashed to the floor. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for impact. But it never came. Instead, he felt himself being pulled in, held tightly by strong arms. Past the rushing in his ears, he could hear a voice. A _good_ voice, not the voice in his head that kept screaming at him _"you're worthless. You're pathetic, you're broken"_. It was a warm voice, promising him he was safe. It was Steve. Steve was good. Steve was safe.

"Steve?" Tony whispered, clinging onto his boyfriend for dear life. He could feel Steve burying his face in his curls.

"Yeah, Tony. It's me," Steve said softly.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't deserve you. You deserve someone so, so much better. I'm just- I'm _broken_, Steve. You... you can't fix me..."

But Steve held onto him even tighter, already shaking his head before Tony had even finished.

"No, Tony," he denied, tears in his own eyes. "No, you're not. You're not broken, Tony. We all have scars, we all have our insecurities, our issues. But that doesn't make you _broken_, it makes you _human_. And I love you, Tony, scars and all. I think you're beautiful. And I don't need you to agree with me, Tony. Because I do think my opinion matters most in whether I love you or not. Your scars tell a story, doll, and I wouldn't want to see them gone. They made you into the person you are today, the person I fell in love with."

He pulled away to look his lover in the eyes. Softly, he wiped the tears from his cheeks and smiled.

"I like you for _you_, Tony. And I know you don't believe me. I don't expect you to. I know you're ashamed of your scars, I know you think you're too skinny. But what do you think _I _looked like 70 years ago? I needed drugs to buff up."

Steve was proud of the wet laugh that earned him, smiling softly.

"I don't ever want you to change, got that?" He pressed, softly tilting Tony's head up to look him in the eye. "I want you the way you are _now_, okay?"

Tony nodded, wiping at his eyes.

"Thank you, Steve," he whispered, his eyes genuine. Steve nodded.

"Now, get that beautiful body of yours into that suit, we're running late."

Tony laughed, appreciating the change of subject.

"Sir yes sir." He saluted. Steve winked, blew him a kiss and disappeared back into the hall, giving Tony some time to recompose himself. He looked back at the mirror, at the scars littering his body. They were still ugly, yes. But maybe, just maybe, that was okay. Maybe they were just a part of him.

He stuck out his tongue to his reflection, put on his suit and walked out, not sparing it another glance.

He was beautiful the way he was. That was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make me a happy bean :)


End file.
